Jokes & Humour

[Dannypenguin]

Where did I let this go!

FOLK WISDOM

1. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.

4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

8. The 50-50-90 rule: Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end,
someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

11. The things that come to those that wait, may be the things left by
those who got there first.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and
he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

13. Flash light: A case for holding dead batteries.

14 . The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.

15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of
twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

[Big Jim]

Nasty incident at Helsinki Airport this afternoon.

300 people vanished into Fin Air..........

[SapperAnt]

Why couldn't Gordon sit down?

Because he has a tender behind.

[MDLR]

Q: What's a pirate's favourite shop?
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A: Aaarrrgos!