The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

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Lonsdaler
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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by Lonsdaler » Tue Jun 22, 2021 11:17 pm

Another day another dollar, as our colonial friends say, and as I shall soon find out, for I have learned via telegram delivered last night to Mrs. Twice-Knightley's abode that my next stop will be in the Land Down Under. 8)

An early start for the inspection of the railway itself today, accompanying Mr Mainwaring (blah blah etc.), Mr Fred Dibble and myself aboard a short consist P-way train, travelling in the (small) guards van with Garry Oretrain, the guard with driver Alf Hearted in the lovely little steeple cab loco. The consist included a tool van, a flat wagon carrying a rowing boat (for some reason!) and the mobile crane, with Cedric Rane, an engineer accompanying us as the crane operator.
Travelling the line is an excellent way to judge the condition of the track, the supporting infrastructure and engineering works. As we left Black Burton terminus and joined the main line, I noted the tunnel and portals were in good condition with no sign of subsidence, decay or water ingress. I decided to do this from the guards platform at the rear of the train with Garry.
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Shortly after Bendam, a rather dismal halt with no facilities other than a crumbling island platform, we came to a shuddering sudden halt. The locomotive had derailed at Midgley points! Alf had seen the problem and managed to stop just as his front wheels derailed. With Alfs careful coaxing, and some skilful use of a rerailing tool wielded by Cedric, Alf gently reversed clear of the points so we could determine the cause.
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It was clear that one of the blades had separated from the tie-bar perhaps due to some very heavy vehicle crossing the track and breaking the mechanical linkage at that point - perhaps a traction engine or tracked vehicle, or as Alf tried to convince me - a 'giant' :LOL: - the very idea!

Mr Dibble contacted Sem O'Phore at Black Burton to close that section until a permanent repair was effected. To continue to Birdbath halt, we were able to retrace our way back towards Black Burton, and take the spur towards Loon Bridge. As we crossed a bleak wilderness known as Flag Patyo, we came to an obviously new station bulding - we had arrived at Dublow (alight here for Hornby).

Mr Mainwaring (etc. - you get the idea) was most keen to show me the work so far, explaining that the Great Pestilence had been an ideal opportunity to refurbish much of the lines supporting infrastructure. He showed me around the building, including the facilities for staff, with bespoke doors and windows apparently. :shock:
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Heading around back to platform side he shewed me the Ticket hall, with a spacious well ventilated public area.
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Further down the platform I was allowed to speak to the contractors who were enjoying a well earned brew. There were three of them apparently, but I only met two.
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We reboarded the train, and set off towards Loon Bridge. As we arrived on the bridge, our train came to a halt, and suddenly all was a hive of activity. Mr Rane set to rigging the stabilising jacks for the mobile crane, whilst the others readied the boat we had brought with us. On inquiring of the purpose to this exercise, I was told that the two employees who met us at the bridge were going to carry out maintenance work on the bridge piers and access to the waterline was only possible by boat. I was most pleased to see that Mr Rane positioned the outrigger jacks on supporting timbers for the bridge and not just on the walkways, clearly demonstrating an understanding of risk assessment. The boat was equipped with a life ring, which apparently meets local safety requirements for the people on board - life preservers would have been more appropriate, I felt.
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Garry the guard was engrossed by the operation.
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As the operation progressed I chanced upon an old seadog, sat smoking his pipe and watching proceedings.
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I asked him for his professional opinion, and he said "Arr - gizzum rollocks an a wired pluckle ne'er to be wizzummed up a glert". :dontknow: I took his thumbs up to be favourable, and quickly returned to the train and P-way crew, who were making ready to continue to our next stop.
Last edited by Lonsdaler on Thu Jun 24, 2021 1:20 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Phil

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Peter Butler
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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by Peter Butler » Wed Jun 23, 2021 12:50 am

Wonderful stuff.... I could live on that!
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philipy
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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by philipy » Wed Jun 23, 2021 6:10 am

As enlightening , informative, and amusing as always, Phil. Thanks.
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FWLR
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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by FWLR » Wed Jun 23, 2021 7:54 am

Great report Phil and very funny in places. The skilful placing of staff behind the inspector was hilarious... :lol:

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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by Andrew » Wed Jun 23, 2021 8:47 am

FWLR wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 7:54 am The skilful placing of staff behind the inspector was hilarious...
It was, wasn't it?! Loved the lowering of the boat too - thanks Phil!

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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by ge_rik » Wed Jun 23, 2021 11:01 am

Thanks Phil
A really entertaining and imaginative report. Having read the report, when can we expect the movie? 😊

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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by BertieB » Wed Jun 23, 2021 11:06 am

“Arr, Gizzum!”

Very nicely photographed — and the garden looks like a film set. Lovely.

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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by Jimmyb » Wed Jun 23, 2021 12:21 pm

The report reads very nicely, however I will have to look again tonight as all the images are blocked on my works computer.

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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by Lonsdaler » Wed Jun 23, 2021 1:24 pm

BertieB wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 11:06 am “Arr, Gizzum!”

Very nicely photographed — and the garden looks like a film set. Lovely.
And they say the camera never lies :lol: :roll:
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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by Lonsdaler » Wed Jun 23, 2021 1:25 pm

Jimmyb wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 12:21 pm The report reads very nicely, however I will have to look again tonight as all the images are blocked on my works computer.
I suppose Flikr is regarded as social media. I hope you enjoy them when you get to see them 8)
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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by Lonsdaler » Wed Jun 23, 2021 1:32 pm

ge_rik wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 11:01 am Thanks Phil
A really entertaining and imaginative report. Having read the report, when can we expect the movie? 😊

Rik
Ah Rik, you've set such a high standard - moving pictures are not my forté really. Whilst i enjoyed materialising the TARDIC, any train scenes I do are somewhat lacking.
Phil

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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by Jimmyb » Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:28 am

Lonsdaler wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 1:25 pm
Jimmyb wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 12:21 pm The report reads very nicely, however I will have to look again tonight as all the images are blocked on my works computer.
I suppose Flikr is regarded as social media. I hope you enjoy them when you get to see them 8)
The photos are very good, and really adds something to the dialogue, it was almost worth it not to see the photos and just read the report, then have the photos back up the report. Very impressive :)

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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by Lonsdaler » Thu Jun 24, 2021 1:24 pm

Jimmyb wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:28 am
The photos are very good, and really adds something to the dialogue, it was almost worth it not to see the photos and just read the report, then have the photos back up the report. Very impressive :)
Thank you Jimmy - glad you have enjoyed reading and viewing it.
Phil

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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by Lonsdaler » Fri Jun 25, 2021 12:25 am

I climbed aboard our little train and Garry gave the driver the right away, and we made our way down a gradual decline towards our next stop, Birdbath Halt. The track here is on a small embankment, and the ballasting looked in need of some serious improvement, actually missing in places. Although there is no sign of track movement at this stage, it is concerning and needs addressing as a matter of urgency.

We presently entered a wooded area, crossing the first set of points in Housedown Triangle. This provides a turning facility for local trains whether goods or passenger, as well as offering a through route for faster trains not required to stop at Birdbath Halt.

We then came upon the ruins of a large building with a derelict bottle kiln adjacent. Mr Mainwaring (altogether now -) informed me that this was all that remained of Housedown Pottery, the once thriving heart of Bernard Housedown's pottery empire, and the reason the initial line was laid down - to get his goods to market (as an aside, the idea was a complete failure - trying to compete with the Staffordshire potteries who transported their wares by canal by building a railway resulted in bankruptcy, and the only train which ran from the pottery arrived with every pot damaged). Here our train halted at the platform of Birdbath Halt - obviously under complete renovation. A severe problem with 'large avians' and their resulting guano has meant the whole facility has been stripped back to just a crudely surfaced platform.
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With Garry now performing a very different form of guard duty (featuring a double barrelled shotgun for bird scaring duties :shock: ) we alighted to inspect the site, and the plans afoot for its renovation. I have been assured that once the work is complete, the company will publish a report to show the newly refurbished halt. Whilst here we also inspected the turnout management arrangements. Manually controlled at single lever frames, the system is sufficient for the expected traffic, but may need modernisation if ever capacity is to increase, but it was good to see the whole system had recently been regraded and ballasted.
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I managed to slip away from the party for a few moments, and went to look at the alternate route that bypasses the halt, and what a shock it was!
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The vegetation appears to have completely buried the trackway for several hundred metres - clearly the alternate route has not been in use for quite some time.

We returned to our train where I informed Mr Mainwaring of these concerns, and emphasised that I would include all my findings, both good and bad, in my final report - that got him harrumphing - Captain, Retired my @&$£. :roll:

A message received from Sem O'Phore informed us that a repair had been effected at Midgley point, so we would be able to complete our 'circuit' of the line for the return leg to Black Burton. We now headed onto Greta Cobb, a raised section of track crossing bog and marshland. The track and retaining walls appeared to be well maintained - clearly no giants cross the line here!
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Greta Cobb - photo kindly given to me by SLRMidge, from a previous occasion.

After crossing the Cob, we crossed the River Greta and passed a fine view of the local Ingleton Mountain.
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Ingleton Mountain, again photo kindly given to me by SLRMidge, from a previous occasion.

Shortly we passed the famous Midgley's Mighty Organ Works - responsible for the erection and maintenance of almost every theatre organ in England.
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From here it was over the hastily repaired point, through Bendam, and on to the spur returning us to Black Burton station - a long but rewarding tour of the line. As we dismounted, Mr Mainwaring surprised me by inviting me to join him and the senior staff at the local hostelry (The Punched Owl) that evening as a farewell dinner. I heartily agreed, although strongly suspecting that this was an attempt to influence my report. But first, I had my trip into the Gretadale Grotto to look forward to, on a guided tour with Trevor Trogg. And what a treat it was - and what a fascinating substance Unobtainium is.
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The Unobtainium Deposits of Gretadale Grotto.

Right! Back to Mons Repose to change, and then it's off to the Punched Owl for a convivial evening - I wonder if Ms Twice-Knightley would join me?
Phil

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My Line - https://gardenrails.org/forum/viewtopic ... 41&t=11077

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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by Jimmyb » Fri Jun 25, 2021 5:54 am

Very good, love your story telling :D

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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by FWLR » Fri Jun 25, 2021 8:53 am

Brilliantly done Phil. :thumbright:

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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by Peter Butler » Fri Jun 25, 2021 10:42 am

Absolutely wonderful stuff, great story with well placed pictures... love it!
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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by Lonsdaler » Fri Jun 25, 2021 11:24 pm

Oh. My. Head. :anhammer
I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to whisper this part of my report. I'm now in the T.A.R.D.I.C. wending my way through the frankly baffling space-time continuum to the fair land of Australia.

Yesterday evening I dined with Mr Mainwaring (forgive me - George), his charming wife Elizabeth and the delightful Mavis Twice-Knightley (née Pike) in a private room at the Punched Owl Hotel. When George 'lets his hair down' he really is the most delightful company. :roll: Well, so Mavis told me later - I had eyes and ears for only one person in that room. :love10:
This was followed by an animated, vibrant, exuberant and boisterous evening in the public bar with many of the railway staff :occasion5: (George and Elizabeth having gone home to see to their cat, Empress :dontknow: ) before I walked Mavis back to Mons Repose, where... nothing relevant to my report on the Greta & Wennigdale Light Railway happened. ;) Suffice to say that my next vacation will not be in Moribund, but will be in the delightful village of Black Burton.

I was able to give Mr Mainwaring (George) an overview of the details of my report (already covered in the preceding account) which is largely positive, with one or two yellow cards, but no reds I am delighted to say. And then, as I walked back to the T.A.R.D.I.C. which Mr Patel had kindly removed from the company store, I was most surprised and touched to see a gift from the staff of the GWLR for me of a fine crate of 25 year old Whisky, and a barrel of that marvellous Fox's Mild Ale - the reason for my current delicate head. 8)
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Fortunately there is room in the T.A.R.D.I.C. (due to it's space contorting capabilities) to secure these fine gratuities. I wished George a hearty farewell, entered my T.A.R.D.I.C., and then began my trip 'down under'. Onward - ever Onward!

A note from the Allowed (if he behaves himself) Director of the GWLR:
I'm aware that the warping of the space time continuum has meant that this story has taken so long to tell. That's a feeble excuse for not pulling my finger out and getting my railway in a fit state to be inspected by anybody, let alone such an august figure as I.N. Spectre. It might seem daunting to expose yourself and your garden rail efforts to public scrutiny and to actually view it critically - okay - not too critically admittedly. ;)
But I have found it a positive experience in so far as it has rekindled my enthusiasm for garden railing and for contributing to this forum. I have some new ideas that I can't wait to put into action, as well as a well matured cupboard of stock and even the odd loco to crack on with. Please consider inviting the inspector to your line - it is a worthwhile experience :thumbup:
Phil

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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by philipy » Sat Jun 26, 2021 5:50 am

Absolutely brilliant Phil, thank you so much for the complete saga.
I'm sure we would all love to read further accounts for a long time to come, but like all good things, it has sadly come to it's end :) and I for one can't wait to read of his Antipodean activities in due course.

I would echo Phil's final words, with a plea for more volunteers for inspections, it doesn't matter where you live. After starting in the UK, Mr I.N.Spectre has already been to Russia and is now on his way to Australia for half a dozen jobs there, but after that he is currently going to be unemployed.
Philip

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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by Old Man Aaron » Sat Jun 26, 2021 4:05 pm

Another entertaining report an a well-developed line. Can't go wrong. :thumbright:
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