The Potters Orchid Railway

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GAP
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Re: The Potters Orchid Railway

Post by GAP » Mon Dec 13, 2021 8:30 pm

philipy wrote:
Mon Dec 13, 2021 7:48 pm
Nice start Dazza.

I'm a wee bit concerned though. We know he has on previous inspections been known to, err, shall we say " Over imbibe", and there is your multi-day Christmas bash coming up......!
No problem just throw another couple of prawns on the barby and put few extra stubbies in the esky that should fix it. What could go wrong with that??? :dontknow: :dontknow:
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Hydrostatic Dazza
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Re: The Potters Orchid Railway

Post by Hydrostatic Dazza » Sat Dec 25, 2021 7:25 pm

We are yet to find out what Mr Spectre thinks of the POR's Christmas lights.
He has not yet emerged since he met the marvelous Miss Cindy at a railway party a week ago. It could be that Miss Cindy has been known to make dead men groan in all kinds of weather and Mr Spectre was looking a bit stressed when he arrived. I am sure he will return to work soon.
:P

ImageIMG_7773 by Darrell McCulloch, on Flickr

ImageIMG_7757 by Darrell McCulloch, on Flickr

ImageIMG_7772 by Darrell McCulloch, on Flickr
Cheers from Dazza, The Hydrostatic Lubricator 8)
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Re: The Potters Orchid Railway

Post by ge_rik » Sun Dec 26, 2021 1:16 pm

Very festive! :thumbup: :reindeer: :santa: merryxmas

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Andrew
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Re: The Potters Orchid Railway

Post by Andrew » Sun Dec 26, 2021 1:24 pm

A proper Winter Wonderland, looks like great fun!

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Peter Butler
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Re: The Potters Orchid Railway

Post by Peter Butler » Sun Dec 26, 2021 2:52 pm

Siting outside in shorts and flip-flops.... why didn't I think of that?
The best things in life are free.... so why am I doing this?

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Re: The Potters Orchid Railway

Post by philipy » Sun Dec 26, 2021 4:39 pm

Peter Butler wrote:
Sun Dec 26, 2021 2:52 pm
Siting outside in shorts and flip-flops.... why didn't I think of that?
Errrr... I've seen the forecast for your part of the world... swimming trunks or wetsuit maybe? 8)

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Re: The Potters Orchid Railway

Post by ge_rik » Sun Dec 26, 2021 5:10 pm

philipy wrote:
Sun Dec 26, 2021 4:39 pm
Peter Butler wrote:
Sun Dec 26, 2021 2:52 pm
Siting outside in shorts and flip-flops.... why didn't I think of that?
Errrr... I've seen the forecast for your part of the world... swimming trunks or wetsuit maybe? 8)
More likely - longjohns, parkah, sou'wester and fur lined boots

Rik
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Hydrostatic Dazza
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Re: The Potters Orchid Railway

Post by Hydrostatic Dazza » Sun Dec 26, 2021 7:09 pm

philipy wrote:
Sun Dec 26, 2021 4:39 pm
Peter Butler wrote:
Sun Dec 26, 2021 2:52 pm
Siting outside in shorts and flip-flops.... why didn't I think of that?
Errrr... I've seen the forecast for your part of the world... swimming trunks or wetsuit maybe? 8)
I think the English test team need the rain in Melbourne. Up here is south east Queensland, it has been wet, but still very warm. It will be swimming trunks, no need for a wet suit. But we got a run last night, after cleaning MAM's burner jet and I repaired Taliesin which had a blow back burn on lighting which melted the servo arm, up so it was replaced. MAM put some little lights on her Bonsai trees in the railway. MAM is trying out a new gimble gizmo for her phone so we might be able to live stream a running day soon.
Cheers from Dazza, The Hydrostatic Lubricator 8)
The chances of finding out what’s really going on in the universe are so remote, the only thing to do is hang the sense of it and keep yourself occupied. Douglas Adams

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Hydrostatic Dazza
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Re: The Potters Orchid Railway

Post by Hydrostatic Dazza » Sun Dec 26, 2021 7:11 pm

ge_rik wrote:
Sun Dec 26, 2021 5:10 pm
philipy wrote:
Sun Dec 26, 2021 4:39 pm
Peter Butler wrote:
Sun Dec 26, 2021 2:52 pm
Siting outside in shorts and flip-flops.... why didn't I think of that?
Errrr... I've seen the forecast for your part of the world... swimming trunks or wetsuit maybe? 8)
More likely - longjohns, parkah, sou'wester and fur lined boots

Rik
If you did that here in Queensland at this time, you would be rushed off to hospital and given drugs.
Cheers from Dazza, The Hydrostatic Lubricator 8)
The chances of finding out what’s really going on in the universe are so remote, the only thing to do is hang the sense of it and keep yourself occupied. Douglas Adams

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Re: The Potters Orchid Railway

Post by GAP » Sun Dec 26, 2021 8:37 pm

Hydrostatic Dazza wrote:
Sun Dec 26, 2021 7:11 pm
ge_rik wrote:
Sun Dec 26, 2021 5:10 pm
philipy wrote:
Sun Dec 26, 2021 4:39 pm


Errrr... I've seen the forecast for your part of the world... swimming trunks or wetsuit maybe? 8)
More likely - longjohns, parkah, sou'wester and fur lined boots

Rik
If you did that here in Queensland at this time, you would be rushed off to hospital and given drugs.
More likely taken straight to the funny farm to wean you off the drugs.

SWMBO commented that "it is a bit nippy this morning" in Bundy temp 23C presently Max forecast 27C
Graeme
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https://ringbalin-light-railway.blogspo ... -page.html

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Re: The Potters Orchid Railway

Post by Hydrostatic Dazza » Sun Dec 26, 2021 11:16 pm

GAP wrote:
Sun Dec 26, 2021 8:37 pm
Hydrostatic Dazza wrote:
Sun Dec 26, 2021 7:11 pm
ge_rik wrote:
Sun Dec 26, 2021 5:10 pm


More likely - longjohns, parkah, sou'wester and fur lined boots

Rik
If you did that here in Queensland at this time, you would be rushed off to hospital and given drugs.
More likely taken straight to the funny farm to wean you off the drugs.

SWMBO commented that "it is a bit nippy this morning" in Bundy temp 23C presently Max forecast 27C
Captain Plod is losing the plot. His apologies. Not helped by Ian Chappell on the radio
Cheers from Dazza, The Hydrostatic Lubricator 8)
The chances of finding out what’s really going on in the universe are so remote, the only thing to do is hang the sense of it and keep yourself occupied. Douglas Adams

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Hydrostatic Dazza
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Mr Spectre's POR inspection. Part One. His arrival

Post by Hydrostatic Dazza » Sun Dec 26, 2021 11:58 pm

Mr Spectre inspects the Potter’s Orchid Railway (POR)
Part one.
We are led to believe that Mr Spectre has been spending far in excess of his allocated travel budget during this Australian expedition. Some say most of his trouble stems from his enthusiastic shouting (buying) of rounds at the Railway Pubs he visits although Mr Spectre claims that inspecting the Railway’s eating and drinking establishments is part of his railway inspection obligations, but others will argue that this is total bull poo poo. Some say because it is the first time he has escaped the shackles of Mother with who he lives with at 62 West Wallaby st Wigan Lancashire and so he has let his hair down and has a become a wee bit, errr, loose lately. Whatever the truth may be it seems his expenditure is not helped by the attentions he devotes to many of the local lasses he meets during his land down under expedition. This is understandable as he is a long way from home and a man is not a camel and as it has been a long time between drinks and these lasses seemed so friendly then before you know it….(Ed, what would mother think? ) It is best we skip past he details of what usually follows. So mailing himself via regular Australia Parcel Post seemed at the time to be a good way to make reductions to his travel expenditure between pubs/railways and also to be a good opportunity to grab a wee rest, sleep off the hangovers and recover his strength that keeps being severely diminished by the friendliness of the local lasses. However it may have not been such a great idea after all.
Mr Spectre is to be seen constantly dictating to his phone his observations, comments and also local lasses’ s contact details. (Opportunities are not to be missed) His pommy accent is a winner with the local girls as they give significant comfort and sympathy to him especially as his home country’s cricket team's batsman are being severely being bashed up by the Aussie bowling on the hard fast Aussie pitches down here. So what follows are edited extracts from the Dictaphone dairies recorded by Mr Spectre during his visit to the Potter’s Orchid Railway in South East Queensland
.

Image1

THUMP
“I demand someone let me out of this effing box” “I have a had a gutful of this, it is hot, bloody dark in here and I am bloody thirsty and I am about to wee myself if I cannot get some relief soon. I am fed up with being tossed about by these Australia Post delivery contractors, they drive like effing lunatics… %@#*!^#%!!”
(Ed. It seems the intended recovery rest was not quite realised)

Image2
"Oh. That is a wee improvement, it appears things have settled down somewhat"

Image
“Gentle rocking, this sounds familiar, ahhhh, the soothing sounds of a railway ?"

Image
“Aghhh my bladder, I demand to be released, this is no way to treat a man of my position and standing … let me out this instant”

Image
“Hey, fellas, can any of youse hear that racket coming from that trunk on Bazza’s flat wagon?”
Captain Plod speaks up. “Ignore it, it just sounds like another whinging Pommy upset at the result of the first Ashes test that finished this arvo, he’ll get over it, who wants another beer ?”


Image
“what the eff, I get the impression I have been transhipped, these colonials, give me the SH—S !”

Image
“whoa, what the heck, was that an emergency stop ?”

Image
Agghhh, what the fa-k is happening………..”

Image
“blimey that felt like an elevator drop! Is that the sound of running water?”
“Well at least the gentle rocking motion is a wee bit more pleasant, but that sound of running water is not helping me with my bladder”
“Oh, I am starting to feel a bit quezy now, a wee bit sea sick”
“Let me out I am about to spew,…..let me out this instant or I will….” (ed, all this will not have helped his 3 day hang over from his last railway inspection and his exhaustion from those two lasses who could …..)


Image
“It seems the jolt popped the latches of my trunk. A wee prise might do the trick, Grunt, heave, YAY I am out.
Fresh air AGHHH what the hell are those blue monsters in the water, do they want to eat me like every other effing plant and animal in Australia?
That dog, it looks familiar, why is it is looking at me with that puzzled look.
Who are these people ?
Those blue fish monsters, they seemed to have pushed me to the river bank”


Image
“What, who are you, these dogs and
errr who is this penguin, he looks vaguely familiar ?"


Image
Errrr, cough wheeze
“what, where, what happened, what, where am I ? by any chance have you got any aspirin on you?”
Another cough and wheeze and cough again. (editor, must have been the stuff those girls had him smoke before they… )
“Could you excuse me for a moment, I just have to duck in behind this tree for a wee moment”
“Thanks for waiting, I needed that, now where were we, ah yes, introduction formalities ?”
“G'day, my name is Dazza and this is MAM and the lads, houza ya bum for grubs ?”
“errr, good afternoon, how is your bum for grubs ? oh never mind, I have a wee upset tummy, seems I have had a rough trip, could you help me out, where, what has happened to me ?”
"We are from the Potter’s Orchid Railway, the guard of the 5.45 from Orchid House Loop reported to management that a trunk had fallen off the side of Bazza’s flat wagon in his consist after the transhipment at Potter’s Junction. It seems the lads loading Bazza’s train have a had a bit too much of a liquid lunch again yesterday and they forgot to tie down your trunk. Second time this week this has happened. Actually Wazza who was driving your train was a bit hung over as well and he got confused. He wanted to pull his whistle cord (wink wink) because he reckons he saw Nigella skinny dipping down here again but instead he pulled the brake lever around into emergency. The jolt must have sent your trunk into Red Bridge Gorge. Wazza has a few roos loose in the top paddock and we all know Nigella is not here today, she is in her kitchen today. Some thing about needing to earn a few gold coins to pay her dealer."
“what!”
Editor. Mr Spectre at this point seemed to recover enough to muster up a wee bit more composure.
“Let me introduce myself, I am Mr Spectre, on secondment from the UK. I am here to inspect the Potter’s Orchid Railway and send a report back to Gardenrails.org ”. “Would you be any chance happen to have some aspirin on you ? “
“Oh, we have been expecting you, I am Dazza and this is MAM, we are most pleased to meet you.”
"Errrr hello, my head hurts, err pleased to meet you, I think so, what day is it ? "
Dazza stopped the next passing train and arranged the crew to give Mr Spectre a lift to his lodgings.


Image
“This guards van is covered in manure and by heck it stinks !
“What will become of me here?”
“Will Anderson ever get the Kookaburra to swing down here”
“Gods of Brunel, grant me kind grace, help me out, please “
“Guard, would you by chance have any aspirin ?”
“why is this lamp upside down?”


To be continued.
Last edited by Hydrostatic Dazza on Thu Dec 30, 2021 7:57 pm, edited 11 times in total.
Cheers from Dazza, The Hydrostatic Lubricator 8)
The chances of finding out what’s really going on in the universe are so remote, the only thing to do is hang the sense of it and keep yourself occupied. Douglas Adams

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philipy
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Re: The Potters Orchid Railway

Post by philipy » Mon Dec 27, 2021 6:51 am

Classic!!!

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ge_rik
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Re: The Potters Orchid Railway

Post by ge_rik » Mon Dec 27, 2021 8:16 am

A heck of a start to his inspection. Makes you wonder what his report is going to look like 😱

Rik
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Hydrostatic Dazza
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Re: The Potters Orchid Railway

Post by Hydrostatic Dazza » Mon Dec 27, 2021 8:45 am

ge_rik wrote:
Mon Dec 27, 2021 8:16 am
A heck of a start to his inspection. Makes you wonder what his report is going to look like 😱

Rik
Stay tuned, more in the weeks to come.
Cheers from Dazza, The Hydrostatic Lubricator 8)
The chances of finding out what’s really going on in the universe are so remote, the only thing to do is hang the sense of it and keep yourself occupied. Douglas Adams

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