Poetry in (loco)motion

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Peter Butler
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Poetry in (loco)motion

Post by Peter Butler » Mon Apr 30, 2018 10:15 pm

Claudia Raynes, her husband and his trains.

This is the story of Claudia Raynes who married a man who loved to play trains.
Each night coming home he'd rush through the door, her kisses and greetings he'd almost ignore.
He'd bolt down his dinner and just before seven, race up the stairs to his bachelor heaven.
Throw all the switches and plug in the mains, then lie on the carpet and play with his trains.

For hour after hour he'd puff and he'd chuff, while down in the kitchen his wife had a huff.
For she never showed it, his comely young wench, as she washed up the dishes and wiped down the bench.
She just fervently prayed as she dried the last cup, that one day her husband might decide to grow up.
But in spite of her labours and spiritual pains, he simply continued to play with his trains.

Around about midnight he'd come down to bed with trains whistling round through the holes in his head.
Forgetting his duties as husband and lover, he'd soon be asleep 'neath the warmth of the cover.
And, clutched in his hand, I've forgotten to mention, like a child's Teddy bear was a small clockwork engine.
Too late she discovered that the man who abstains is often content to just play with his trains.

For five long years did this heroine stick until she collapsed, broken hearted and sick.
Her illness was terribly hard to explain and she was examined again and again.
Until, at long last, an intelligent surgeon said, 'Mrs. Raynes, I believe you're a virgin'.
'Yes', she replied with her cheeks red as flames, 'I married a man who prefers to play trains'.

'Oh!', said the Doctor, 'Then here are some tips; take up a hobby like playing with ships'.
So after much thought and firm resolution, she eventually hit on the perfect solution-
Well, a compromise really, at least of a sort, she'd visit each ship that came into port.
So, now she is happy and so's Mr. Raynes, 'cos she's got her sailors and he's got his trains!
The best things in life are free.... so why am I doing this?

Big Jim
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Re: Poetry in (loco)motion

Post by Big Jim » Tue May 01, 2018 10:47 pm

Cracking
If at first you don't succeed, use a bigger hammer!

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Soar Valley Light
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Re: Poetry in (loco)motion

Post by Soar Valley Light » Wed May 02, 2018 7:11 pm

:thumbright: :lol:
"Smith! Why do you only come to work four days a week?
"'cause I can't manage on three gaffer!"

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