The PMR Chronicles - Pt the umpteenth.

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Big Jim
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The PMR Chronicles - Pt the umpteenth.

Post by Big Jim » Tue Jul 24, 2018 12:13 pm

Regular visitors to this unremarkable and forgotten part of West Wales may be forgiven for thinking that little has been happening over the past few months, they would probably be right. Changeless as pond water and just about as fresh, the months roll by in this tiny corner of the Principality leaving no real trace. The inhabitants seem to age slowly and not in sequence with the years. The population remain in rude health for reasons that medical science have so far failed to fathom. Indeed, the longevity of the the natives was commented on by Dai D A Death, the local undertaker, milkman, horse doctor and Rabbi. He was heard to comment that the locals were so healthy and lived so long that he had been forced to murder a few just to remain in business. The local pub still serves Graddlestones Old Excruciating in grimy pots, the keeper of the local post office Dai Atribe continues to wait, as his Father did, in the hope that one of the locals may yet learn to write and actually use his services.

Little was happening on the PMR, the heat was causing bad tempers and bank fires in no particular order. Several members of staff had been seen to remove their oilskins in the sweltering heat, leaving only several vests, a shirt, waistcoat, pullover and donkey jacket to protect their flesh from the merciless rays of the Sun. A ban on steam had caused the railway to utilise its stock of small scruffy diesels and the new railbus that had arrived just after last Christmas. These were operating the poor and irregular service that the natives expected. The small preservation society had still managed to hold their annual steam gala although this had not proved a success. Pushing the cold steam locos down the line and making chuffing noises was perhaps not the way to go and several small fights had broken out leading to a torn anorack and several thermos flask related injuries.

The railbus had proved popular with the staff as it was easy to operate. With controls consisting of only two levers, one marked "GO" and the other "STOP" even the most intellectually challenged of the staff managed to get it right at least three times out of eight. The only issue that had been found was that when the railbus was being used to carry sheep and passengers at the same time, the organic odours proved a bit ripe on the nose. However the sheep suffered no lasting ill effects once the coughing and runny eyes had subsided.

Dai Uretic and Dai Verse, had been discussing the unseasonably clement weather, it had proved quite a shock to them. It had not rained for several hours and when it did, the torrents were remarkably warm. There had been talk of a water shortage, however this had been averted when a chap had arrived at the railway offering to sell them three thousand gallons of dehydrated water at a bargain price. Dai Uretic (still suffering from the 'old problem') was what passed for a bit of an intellectual in these parts and he had been attempting to explain global warming to Dai Verse.

Knowing that he had just been educated by a master and keen to do his bit to save the planet, Dai Verse had scurried off, looking determined and sweaty at the same time.

He returned a short while later, his ruddled countenance beaming aglow with a self-satisfied expression.

"Dai Bach, you know this global warming thing, well I have done something to help stop it boyo. So I went down by there and smashed all the windows in the vicar's greenhouse. The old sky-pilot was not a happy man though. I said to him Look you and I tried explaining about the 'greenhouse effect' but he failed to listen, him an educated man and all. Oh Dai, you should have heard him, such language from a man of the cloth, I haven't heard such swearing since my wedding night. "

"Well done Boyo" replied Dai "You have done good, the greenhouse is a dangerous English abomination. Never trust anything that you can see through but can't walk through."


For the story behind the railbus see https://gardenrails.org/forum/viewtopic ... MR#p130071
For other PMR nonsense try https://gardenrails.org/viewtopic.php?f ... &hilit=PMR and https://gardenrails.org/viewtopic.php?f ... MR#p131608
If at first you don't succeed, use a bigger hammer!

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Snailrail
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Re: The PMR Chronicles - Pt the umpteenth.

Post by Snailrail » Wed Jul 25, 2018 3:11 pm

Despite using up vital energy supplies which are seriously depleted due to the extreme temperatures, my face managed to contort itself involuntarily into a broad grin for the entirety of that report. Brilliant, as always. Thanks.
Brian

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philipy
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Re: The PMR Chronicles - Pt the umpteenth.

Post by philipy » Wed Jul 25, 2018 5:11 pm

Shouldn't you be off writing sermons or something??

Lovely job Jim, thank you. :lol:
Philip

Big Jim
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Re: The PMR Chronicles - Pt the umpteenth.

Post by Big Jim » Wed Jul 25, 2018 6:12 pm

philipy wrote: Wed Jul 25, 2018 5:11 pm Shouldn't you be off writing sermons or something??
Probably. I should be alright as long as I don't get them mixed up.
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markoteal
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Re: The PMR Chronicles - Pt the umpteenth.

Post by markoteal » Fri Aug 31, 2018 12:57 pm

Just catching up Jim .......very good! - I particularly like the sheep and humans sharing the railbus and the sheep coming off worst!
Where did I put that uncoupler?

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Re: The PMR Chronicles - Pt the umpteenth.

Post by Big Jim » Fri Aug 31, 2018 2:23 pm

I am pleased to report the sheep are now fine.
If at first you don't succeed, use a bigger hammer!

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