The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Anything related to the garden railway world that is not catered for in another board
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Peter Butler
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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by Peter Butler » Mon May 11, 2020 2:17 pm

I, for one, can't wait.... excellent report and most entertaining.
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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by philipy » Mon May 11, 2020 4:17 pm

Brilliant Andrew. Love the canaries!
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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by Soar Valley Light » Mon May 11, 2020 4:27 pm

Peter Butler wrote: Mon May 11, 2020 2:17 pm I, for one, can't wait.... excellent report and most entertaining.
You've certainly got me hooked too. Excellent, report, excellent photo's...... and really excellent canaries!

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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by Snailrail » Mon May 11, 2020 7:45 pm

Very entertaining read and excellent photos. Look forward to part two.
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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by markoteal » Mon May 11, 2020 9:29 pm

Great story - looking forward to part 2
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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by tom_tom_go » Mon May 11, 2020 9:43 pm

Great stuff Andrew, keep it coming!

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Mitch stack
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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by Mitch stack » Tue May 12, 2020 12:46 am

this would be something i will have to do when i get my IP figures finished at some stage!

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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by Old Man Aaron » Tue May 12, 2020 1:19 am

Good stuff!
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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by FWLR » Tue May 12, 2020 8:10 am

Funny and very entertaining report. Shows us the serious and not so serious side to garden railways.

Hope part two is just as entertaining, I am sure it will....

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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by Jimmyb » Tue May 12, 2020 9:21 am

Being quite new to this forum I am still trying to "get my head around this". So my assumption is the inspector goes from Garden Railway to Garden Railway, based on a list, and at each railway a report is written. Not having much imagination, I would find writing a report on my unfinished railway quite difficult, is there some type of "crib sheet" to provide guidance.

Please don't take this as any form of criticism, I enjoy the reports, well written, informative and amusing, I just struggle with the concept.

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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by Andrew » Tue May 12, 2020 11:29 am

Jimmyb wrote: Tue May 12, 2020 9:21 am So my assumption is the inspector goes from Garden Railway to Garden Railway, based on a list, and at each railway a report is written. Not having much imagination, I would find writing a report on my unfinished railway quite difficult, is there some type of "crib sheet" to provide guidance.
Hi Jimmy,

You've got it - he travels about and reports back on what he finds, whatever state it's in.

Like you, I wasn't so keen on my own report featuring a work in progress, so I waited until I had things a little more in order, but reports on incomplete lines have worked very well, it's just a personal preference. For me it was actually a kind of incentive to get some projects finished - the tunnel, signalbox and Permanent Way trolley in my case.

There's no "crib sheet", but all of the earlier reports are there to read. They paint a picture of a multi-faceted character, sometimes generous, at other times damning, but always with a fierce attention to detail and an all-seeing eye. Rather like God in the Old Testament, before He chilled out a bit...

I got rather carried away (I've got more imagination than I have engineering ability!), but reports have come in all shapes and sizes...

And, talking of reports, the sound of tapping keys can be heard coming from the Inspector's box - I fear part two can't be far away! Glad you've enjoyed it so far chaps!

Andrew.

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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by philipy » Tue May 12, 2020 12:48 pm

Well said Andrew, beautifully put.

Jimmy,
If you go right back to the very first post in this thread, you'll find all the detail on how this works and the original list of participants. You are very welcome to join in if you wish, both with your currently incomplete layout and/or subsequently, just drop me a PM when you're up for it. The only thing I would say is that with only 3 more volunteers on the list for inspection, I can see it becoming moribund before the end of this summer, so sooner rather than later is probably not a bad idea.
Philip

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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by Andrew » Tue May 12, 2020 5:35 pm

Inspection Report: The (Windmill Hill) Welsh Highland Railway

Part Two: Going Round in Circles



Emerging, coughing and spluttering, from the smoky confines of the tunnel, it was a relief to be back in the sunshine once again. Although a primitive vehicle by any standards, the trolley on which I was riding did indeed provide an excellent opportunity to inspect the track – I could feel most acutely every dipped joint and dog-legged curve! I was also able to gain a close-up view of the railway’s fencing, which was most disappointing compared with that I had recently observed on the Elderbery and District line, with wonky and rotten posts and sagging wires.

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As I spoke this observation into my phone for later transcription, a voice shouted from the composite’s first class compartment, informing me that this, like the landslip and replacement station building, would all be seen to “next year”. So that’s where Mr Cox had got to!

The engine was working hard now to heave our little train along the steep and twisting line, through attractive landscape which occasionally became virtually indistinguishable from the track itself – plenty of lineside clearance and weed-killer are required!

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As we neared Penlan, the halfway point, a most regrettable incident occurred. As I craned to see around the carriages ahead of us, a sudden jolt from the trolley caught me off-balance. My travelling companions insist that they had reached out to steady me, but the end result of their “help” was that I was flung from the trolley and into the lineside vegetation.

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Perhaps the lack of clearance actually worked in my favour, because the lush foliage helped to break my fall, although my head struck something hidden in the bushes – thank goodness for my hard hat!

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Brushing myself down and pushing aside the branches I found an incredibly dilapidated carriage body which had apparently once served as a Permanent Way hut. On making my way to Penlan station, where my host awaited me, I told him of my discovery.

“Goodness!” he replied, with a startled look on his face, “I’d completely forgotten that was there!” With facilities (and record keeping) like this, no wonder the track is in such a poor state!

The train I had seen earlier was now making its way back down the line and stood waiting in the loop. There was no platform on this line, but the passengers did not seem to consider this a barrier to disembarking, and travellers from both trains were wandering freely over the tracks, taking photographs and purchasing refreshments through the buffet car window, all highly irregular.

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I continued my inspection, considering first the simple corrugated iron structure, which had something of an agricultural look about it. I was puzzled as to why the occupants of the waiting area were bothering to consult the timetable or take a seat, when the activity outside suggested an incredibly frequent service for such a short line. I put this observation to the would-be passengers in question, who informed me that although there were plenty of trains today, the station could sometimes go for months without any service at all! Perhaps that explained the rather low number of passengers aboard the trains – perhaps 20 in total?

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Goods traffic looked more promising. I was told that the siding at Penlan saw both timber and granite traffic. I wondered how efficiently these industries were served, for I saw no sign of any wagons suitable for carrying granite, and just a pair of small bolsters for the carriage of timber.

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Closer inspection revealed that these were, in fact, the property of the neighbouring Ffestiniog Railway, a subject which I took up with my host.

“Ah, yes, well, we’ll be building our own timber wagons soon” he informed me.

“Next year, perhaps?” I enquired, not without a hint of irony.

“That’s it”, he replied, without any irony at all, “You’re getting it!”

As far as I could see the new wagons couldn’t come quickly enough, the existing ones being clearly inadequate for the amount of custom on offer.

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Despite my best endeavours to secure a more comfortable seat, the Permanent Way gang escorted me firmly back to the trolley, and we continued our way up the line, the engine still climbing hard. Much of this leg of the journey was in cuttings or between tall trees, the leaves of which must play havoc with the punctuality of autumn services. Finally, we emerged into the sunshine once more, and our train wheezed to a halt at another simple gravel platform, home to a solitary and rather rusted hut. I stayed put on the trolley, believing that this must be request halt from which we would soon be on our way, but it gradually became apparent that this was, in fact, the end of the line.

I disembarked and looked about in vain for the reason why my fellow passengers had paid good money to be dragged up here, but I must confess I was at something of a loss – there was simply nothing here!

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All of this was quite beyond me, so I turned my attention instead to something I do understand – inspection. The object of my attention this time was a rake of slate wagons standing in a siding, presumably awaiting loading at the nearby quarry. I find that a railway’s treatment of its good rolling stock can reveal much about its overall attitude and approach, and so set about a detailed examination of wheels, axleboxes, couplings and so forth. Unsurprisingly, by now, I discovered that these wagons too were on loan from the Ffestiniog Railway. No doubt, had I enquired, I would have been told that the line had its own versions on the drawing board and scheduled for completion “next year”…

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I will freely admit that I can get deeply engrossed in my work, but nonetheless I was very surprised to find that the train which had brough me up to this somewhat bleak location had been prepared for its return journey with an efficiency quite uncharacteristic of the line and was already making its way back into the trees. I had been abandoned!

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I considered my options. I could commandeer one of the slate wagons and descend by gravity, but quickly discounted this approach for I was lacking the most basic necessities, namely head and tail lamps, wheel chocks, detonators, a copy of the rule book and a first aid kit. No, there was nothing else for it but to await the arrival of the afternoon goods, and so I resumed my inspection.

Looking back down the line I saw what appeared to be a large drop from the back of the platform, unprotected by either fencing or warning signs, and so I hurried in that direction, clipboard at the ready. I must confess that what I found left me so utterly lost for words that even health and safety considerations were momentarily forgotten - we were but a few hundred yards from where we had started! There below me was the signal box cum aviary, and beyond that I could glimpse the carriages of Russell’s train standing in the platform at Trefechan. What was the point of this curious operation?!

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This state of affairs was clearly ridiculous, but my discovery also opened up exciting opportunities, to which I was eager to draw the railway management’s attention. Within minutes I had scrambled down the embankment and was back at Trefechan once more, where I retrieved my easel and pens from my case and began to draw up plans.

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Why bother with that lengthy run to the slate quarry when a simple incline could be used to retrieve loaded slate wagons? Why bother with passenger services when so few are carried? In which case, why bother with station buildings and signalboxes and steam engines? Why bother with any service at all beyond Penlan? So many possibilities for pruning and streamlining! I scribbled away furiously at my easel.

What happened next remains a mystery. The driver swore that he had blown his whistle and kept an adequate look out, and while I admit that I was rather engrossed in my work and standing in the middle of the track, surely my hi-visibility jacket rendered me, well, highly visible? Either way, I glanced up just in time to see Russell bearing down on me with the aforementioned afternoon goods. I just managed to jump clear, and for the second time that day found myself making a close-up inspection of the lineside flora, while Russell steamed off into the tunnel, taking my easel and plans with it.

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Naturally, I was furious. Storming back to the station I made straight for my wooden box – this ungrateful little line would have to make do without my insight and ingenuity! Mr Cox appeared beside me, and the stress of the situation had clearly got to him too, for once again he was speaking Welsh.

“Canolfan celf!” he babbled, “gardd fotaneg genedlaethol!”. Although, I was sure, he was apologising profusely, I slammed the lid of my box closed in his face. Enough was enough!

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As I felt the box begin to move back towards the present day, sure enough, my phone came alive once more. I opened my preferred translation software and duly entered my host’s remarks – maybe, just maybe, I’d be able to look a little more kindly on this curious anachronism of a railway if I could understand what he had told me?

Nothing could have been further from the truth – the fool had been speaking in road signs! About cattle grids and botanical gardens, and how smoking and dogs were prohibited! All designed, no doubt, to put me off the scent!

“I’ll be back!” I roared, as my box carried me away. And somewhere in the distance I could swear I heard the faint reply,

“Next year?”

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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by Jimmyb » Tue May 12, 2020 5:46 pm

Well the inspector certainly got his money's worth there and then, love the way this all plays out.

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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by Jimmyb » Tue May 12, 2020 5:49 pm

philipy wrote: Tue May 12, 2020 12:48 pm Jimmy,
If you go right back to the very first post in this thread, you'll find all the detail on how this works and the original list of participants. You are very welcome to join in if you wish, both with your currently incomplete layout and/or subsequently, just drop me a PM when you're up for it. The only thing I would say is that with only 3 more volunteers on the list for inspection, I can see it becoming moribund before the end of this summer, so sooner rather than later is probably not a bad idea.
Philip, I would love to, but (with work and the railway) I scarcely have time to read the forum, let alone write a lengthy report, and give it the consideration it needs. However, when time become available, I will certainly consider volunteering.

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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by Peter Butler » Tue May 12, 2020 5:59 pm

Absolutely wonderful imagination and superbly presented. If there was an award for the best report this would surely get it.
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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by philipy » Tue May 12, 2020 8:40 pm

Quite agree with Peter's comments, simply superb, Andrew, thanks.

Also interesting to see the relationship of the two ends of the line which I hadn't really understood before, even though I've followed your posts from the beginning.
Philip

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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by tom_tom_go » Tue May 12, 2020 8:43 pm

The garden and railway are looking great Andrew.

The report was hilarious, well done!

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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by Soar Valley Light » Tue May 12, 2020 9:09 pm

It was well worth waiting for Andrew. I loved every word of it. Very imaginative and a lovely take on railway inspection.

Diolch am adroddiad hynod ddifyr.

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Re: The Great Garden Railway Inspection Reports

Post by FWLR » Wed May 13, 2020 6:15 am

Very funny and such a different slant on how to write a report. It had my attention from the very 1st to last word...

Just wish my mum was still alive...She could have translated for me... :lol: :lol:

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